Single Girl in the Dating World |
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Single Girl in the Dating World

Written by Cherise Henry,

Once upon a time, there was a girl who dreamed of being married, with a loving husband and three kids. They would live in a beautiful neighborhood and have strong family values. Oh, and they would travel a lot too. But then reality woke her up. Heartbreak, doubt, discontentment, worry, stress, pain, the past, “ and the complexities of life. Those experiences set the tone for her“colorful” dating journey. However, through all those experiences emerged faith, self-love, drive, ambition and many more characteristics.

My name is Cherise and I am a single girl navigating this “dating app” driven world. You name the dating app, I’ve been on it.  Have I met my life partner? Not yet, but every single date or relationship has allowed me to grow in many ways. I have learned the “ghosting” or unexpected breakups are protection from God. Each tear released hurt and I developed an understanding of why it may not have worked with that particular person.

I have found that I am becoming more intentional with dating. My intention is to get to know a man’s character first in order to create a strong family structure with my future life partner. I am a firm believer that I will be a wife and mother someday. Coming from a divorced family, I always knew I wanted different. I saw this as an opportunity to learn from my parents and work towards doing things differently.  Did I always know what I was doing? Not quite and still to this day, I am learning.

I definitely have a new outlook and actively building my relationship with God. I found myself wanting love so bad, that I began to settle for less.  One of the biggest patterns I noticed was the “unavailable man”. Now time after time, each guy “wasn’t ready”. But I was! So I would go above and beyond to make it work.  I saw the good in everything, which I still do. But I failed to get to know his character, every single time. What does that mean? It means I was dating unintentionally. I was trying to create this idealistic relationship with a person I did not know. I rushed and failed every time.   Through all this came lots of self-reflection and prayer. I found out things I need to work on myself. I’ve also learned that to “let go and let God’ will alleviate the anxiety of not being where I “want” to be. I have a purpose here and I am shifting my focus to that and God. In my purpose, the right man will come along and be alongside me through this journey called life.  There is something much bigger than what I think I “want”. 

I am writing this to encourage you it is ok to be at this point in your life.  There are times where I still think of that day when he will come but for now, I am trusting the process. One thing that has been a constant for me throughout all the confusion and “sometimes” chaos is God and having faith.