All The Single Ladies
Written by Angela Manzanares, lifecoachingwithangela.com
I have a love-hate relationship with it.
Most days I love its freedom. You’re free to spend your time how you want, free to build your life the way you want, free to pick up and go when you want, and free to dream up any romantic outcome of who the love of your life might be.
And then there are the really unsettling days where you wonder if that happy ending is actually in the cards for you.
If this sounds like you too, I’m with ya, friend.
I’ll rewind a little bit and share my story. Since high school, relationships were always a source of security for me. I felt most complete when I had a boyfriend. But when I was 20, I had this life-changing moment at a church conference where God invited me on the adventure of following His plans for my life instead of my own. I laid down my comfortably mapped-out plans of just finishing college, marrying the guy I was with, and getting a good job to pay the bills until I died, and decided to become single to find out who I really was and why I was put on this earth.
It’s been a refining and fulfilling journey of discovering passions and purpose I didn’t even know were inside of me, learning to receive perfect love from God, the epitome of it, and getting a clear vision of the kind of man I want to marry.
I’ve come to see how important and beautiful singleness actually is. Even with the tears, the lonely days, the awkward dates, and feeling like you’re the last single person on earth sometimes, it develops a solid foundation in you. It builds strength. Character. Ambition. Adventure. It gives you the space to find out who you are, where you’re going, and who you want to do that with.
The rest of your life is way too valuable to make forever-decisions lightly. I get how tempting it can be to just jump into a relationship with any guy that comes along and flatters you. But think about the kind of life you want to build. To help see if you and a guy are compatible, use what I call the “4 C’s” and ask yourself these questions:
- Does he have good character?
- Do we have good chemistry?
- Would our life callings work out together?
- Do I have confirmation from God and those closest to me?
Have high standards. Think long-term. Don’t expect perfection, but have the faith and wisdom to hold out for an amazing guy.
I once heard someone say, “You can be lonely for 5 extra years of waiting and then happy for 45 married to the right person, or lonely for 50 years married to the wrong person.”
So I leave you with this: I dare you to keep finding the magic that singleness has to offer, that you have to offer. And let wisdom lead you to the man of your dreams.
I’m rooting for you, girl!
**You can get a copy of Angela’s “The Singles’ Guide” at lifecoachingwithangela.com**